Shannon

like my post about Christina, the events here happened at EFY, this time at the Denton 2008 session. When I met Shannon, probably on Thursday, I think Brittany told her about my duct tape vest because she thought it was that cool, or was that convinced that Shannon would think it was cool, but Shannon told me she would dance like a hundred dances with me if I wore it to the dance on Friday. (however she said it, nothing was as awkward as I might be making it sound.) I think she had a pretty good idea that I would definitely do a lot more than notice her at the dance, and liked that idea. So what did she do? she pointed Rachel out to me, who she said could appreciate someone asking her to dance. When I spent almost all my time that night with Rachel and a few girls I had known earlier, what did Shannon do? She thanked me. She thanked me, because she saw a happy friend of hers who I helped be able to enjoy herself that night. The Savior said to "love thy neighbor as thyself," but I have to admit, I probably wouldn't have put my friends interests so high above my own as to be just grateful to have my friend get the attention I could have had from some girl I just met and thought was cool and might never see again.
I felt like a jerk: she pointed Rachel out to me, who I really liked, and she got somewhat ignored for it. yet it seemed to me that in Shannon's eyes she never even had to forgive me. in fact, she seemed to think she almost owed me, which is so opposite the truth: even though Shannon pointed Rachel out to me, I gave her some of the sincerest compliments I have ever given, (point being I really liked her.)
Rachel, if it ends up that you read this, I sure hope you don't feel at all hurt. I have to be honest, I may not have noticed you if Shannon didn't point me to you, but as I said, the compliments I gave you that night are some of the sincerest I have ever given. I hope you just feel glad to have a friend like Shannon.

Andy

this whole blog wouldn't exist without Andy, because he suggested I read How to Win Friends and Influnce People and seemed like someone I could stand to be more like. I met Andy at work for my uncle putting up Christmas lights in Arizona, and he was also my uncle's nephew, but not my cousin. Andy was good at asking questions about you and being interested in you. more than that, he could be in charge of a job, or showing me how to do something, and could criticize or tell me what to do in ways that couldn't make anyone feel nferior. Very simple techniques: when he told me how to roll balls of lights, he started pointing out what he tended to do wrong, then what some others did wrong, before telling me how it really needed to be done. When I did something well, he would praise me for it. Even if it would have been ideal to be even better or faster. and he rarely gave orders, or just told someone what to do. It was "hey Samuel, do you think you can hand me that?" or he would actually give me some say in the process, or let me figure things out. another example of what someone else said that just reminds me of the way Andy handled people was that even though I might not be as fast at wrapping a tree, I wrapped a better tree than Doug (my uncle who owned the business). this was a compliment, but still let me see that I needed to learn to be faster. there are things to learn from these experiences. these principles he helped me learn are elaborated on and then stated more succinctly in Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. I recommend it.

Christina

(1) because I will come back to her, Christina really had a profound influence on me in a mere week at EFY. (Especially For youth, an LDS church camp kind of thing that is freaking AMAZING)

At EFY (Kansas '07), before we ever met the girls in our company, I heard that one was practically engaged, and one was in a fairly serious relationship (our counselor knew both) I kind of figured out who he was talking about, or had a pretty good idea, and Christina was one of them. Amazingly, I almost automatically blocked her out as a possibility of someone I might like in any kind of romantic type sense. But I think it was by sometime on Wednesday that I started spending almost as much time with her as I could. Some people you are just drawn to. like her. the last chapter of the how to make people like you section of How to Win Friends and Influence People is about making people feel important, and that is what Christina did. when I took her tray, she didn't just say thank you, or say thank you with a sincere smile. She said something more like"Oh thank you, Samuel, I really appreciate that, you're the first guy who's done that for me this week." (things like guys taking girl's trays happen a lot at EFY) I don't know if anyone has ever been more lavish in praising me than Christina, and she was so sincere. I loved her for it. I might have doubted her sincerity in some degree, or not thought nearly so much of how she treated me, but she treated everyone that way. Christina has inspired me to be kinder, more patient, more positive, and to try to have the spirit with me such that it's all natural and no one can doubt my sincerity.
Christina, if you ever read this, know that I look up to you. A lot. I learned that all you have to do to make people like you and help them love themselves is what you did: You showed sincere appreciation, gave heartfelt praise, and were always positive about others. and you cared, which is the great recurring theme in everyone who makes a difference in people's lives in such ways.

note: Christina was in the "fairly serious relationship," but I'm not sure how serious it was. I got some clues that she wasn't too serious, but I have little knowledge of it.